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Kelly J. Cooper

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A Question of Connections [Mar. 3rd, 2007|02:05 am]
Kelly J. Cooper
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Here's a question for ya'll: how do you decide when it's time to meddle and when it's time to stay out someone else's conflict?

I have thoughts, some of which I've documented. But I ultimately decided to not put them in this post because I'm curious to hear what others have to say. Although I will add this: do you consider me to be a meddler?

[User Picture]From: lillibet
2007-03-03 11:52 am (UTC)
how do you decide when it's time to meddle and when it's time to stay out someone else's conflict?

Usually when I think I can actually help, or when the "meddling" involves sharing information that I think gives the party I'm dealing with a better handle on the overall situation that they are unlikely to receive otherwise.
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[User Picture]From: laurenpburka
2007-03-04 12:11 am (UTC)
Well, it sort of depends. I mean, if it's me you're talking about, then F off. If it's someone else, go ahead and mess with them all you want. :)
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[User Picture]From: kimberlogic
2007-03-04 03:09 am (UTC)
Hmm. I don't consider you a meddler. You are a good listener - objective, caring - and you do your best to inject a different view into situations as needed. Hmm - you provide perspective. As for for when to meddle ... that's harder. If it directly affects you, if you're asked to intercede or get involved, if someone is in real danger, or if you just can't stand by and be silent, I guess. Of course, sometimes all you get for your efforts is a steaming bucket of unpleasantness.

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[User Picture]From: allessindra
2007-03-05 05:46 am (UTC)

Those Meddlin' Kids!

If you've ever meddled with me I haven't noticed it. Then again, it would have been *mumble* years ago, and we all know that the memory is the second thing to go.

There's also all kinds of potential context here. "A pile of people are milling about getting nothing done and getting upset about it. You can walk up, do two things, and it will sort out." vs "A couple are having an argument that you are witnessing (for varying values of that term). You observe they've gone around saying the exact same thing to each other 5 times in a row. You raise your hand and wait to be acknowledged before pointing this out to them."


I probably meddle. I hope that I confine it mostly to those where I have rights, e.g. my children. (For now, anyway.)
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[User Picture]From: catness
2007-03-08 06:51 pm (UTC)
Oh, and for the record... (days late)...

I think people who like to *solve* are all meddlers in some fashion.

I don't attach negative connotations to the word or idea of "meddling", so I am not afraid to say I think you are the meddling kind. You like to know, you like to solve, you like to help. Meddling might not always be successful or stress-free, but it's not inherently *bad*, or evil in intent.
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