||[Mar. 26th, 2009|06:50 pm]
Kelly J. Cooper
Lost my fuckin' passport. I brought it (and a stack of stuff) with me to MYP today to drop it in the mail for renewal. I still have the paperwork, the checkbook, and the little pictures, but no passport.
Somewhere between the house and the Picnic - or possibly IN the Picnic - or possibly while walking FROM the Picnic TO the Post Office - it vanished without my noticing.
I think there's a small, vicious black hole in Harvard Square that selectively steals the thing I ABSOLUTELY NEED THE MOST at any given time.
I am such a fuckup.
fortunately, your passport has your home address inside, so it's possible someone will find and return it. also, replacing a lost passport is spendy but you have plenty of time before your trip - i got my replacement in less than 10 days last time it happened to me.
It was a mistake. It's not a real fuckup unless there was real intent and it's irreversable. It's annoying, it's a pain in the ass and it's thwart but try and think of it in Spanish instead of English:
Se desaparado (spelling may be optional here)
IT disappeared, you (clearly) did not make it disappear. Mistakes require very little human intervention and therefore are rarely the right of the humans who own them to use as fodder for self-flagellation.
2009-03-28 08:21 am (UTC)
It really was a fuckup.
First, I forgot that it needed renewing. I knew this back in the winter & did nothing about it when I had plenty of time due to lameness.
Second, after being reminded by the BF to get it renewed, failed to get into bed at a reasonable hour, thereby failing to get OUT OF BED before dark for three days in a row to have little pictures made and the renewal package mailed out.
Third, stayed up Wednesday night, figuring the screwy sleep schedule would keep me from getting to my Thursdays 10am-6pm shift late and I was LATE ANYWAY.
Fourth, since I was spacey & tired, I cannot definitively recall when I last touched the actual passport. In fact, I believe I can attribute its loss to being distracted by sleeplessness or being in a hurry due to lateness. I was sleepless because I did NOT manage to unscrew my sleep schedule before going to a full day of WORK (which requires interacting with a LOT of people and handling money, and a person should not be that tired and try to perform either of those activities). And I was LATE because I was trying to get too many things done at once, before work, one of my many bad habits.
It's just a cumulative AAARRRRGGGHHH. I used to be able to compensate for my sleep & depression issues so much better when I had a regular daytime job. And I should really just get another one and force myself back into the discipline. But I don't WANT it. The thought of it gives me the heaving panic attack sobs. But that's fuckin' selfish; people HAVE to work.
And... and... and...