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Not Safe For Work - Body by Henson, brain by Seuss. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Kelly J. Cooper

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Not Safe For Work [Nov. 22nd, 2007|01:01 am]
Kelly J. Cooper
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An Open Letter to Cambridge...

Dear Pigfuckers,

I understand why you had to close Walden Street, I really do. The bridge needed fixing. I don't understand why it must take over a year to complete the project, but I am not an engineer, so I can accept that you know better.

HOWEVER, once you pick a FUCKING DETOUR ROUTE, I highly recommend that you do NOT RIP UP THE SURFACE OF THAT ROAD AS WELL!!! Further, I MUST STRONGLY PROTEST the absolutely stunning idiocy you have clearly demonstrated in ripping up the GODDAMN SIDEWALKS AT THE SAME TIME!

Did your mothers raise you in a COMBAT ZONE?! Are you DEMONS, VISITING FROM HELL, feeling a little nostalgic for home!?! Have you noticed that between the piles of bricks destined to become upper class sidewalks and the HUGE, GARGANTUAN raised sewer covers, gas covers, and water covers that you have turned the fucking PRIMARY ROUTE across Cambridge into a GODDAMN ONE-LANE ROAD!?! HAVE YOU!?! CUZ I DON'T THINK SO!!! I DON'T THINK THOSE NEURONS ARE CONNECTED!!! I THINK YOUR BRAINS ARE ONLY LUMPY CLAY LOOK-ALIKES, SUSPENDED IN THE SLOSHY STUFF TO KEEP YOUR SKULLS FROM COLLAPSING IN THE VACUUM OF YOUR OWN STUPIDITY!!!

CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE THAT TIN-BUCKET-EMPTY BRAINDEAD DELUSIONAL?!?

WTF? WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT, OVER!?! Please explain to me EXACTLY WHAT?! THE?! FUCK?!

Thank you very much.

Yours,
Kelly J. Cooper
Ms. Headache Crankypants
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Comments:
From: n5red
2007-11-22 06:20 am (UTC)
Driving in Boston is always such a learning experience. As in "OH NO, NOT ANOTHER LEARNING EXPERIENCE!!"
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[User Picture]From: kjc
2007-11-22 06:45 am (UTC)
It's true. But usually Cambridge and Somerville are nowhere near as bad as Boston, the city.

However THIS is freakin MADNESS.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: hammercock
2007-11-22 08:45 am (UTC)
Jeez, I leave this place for a week and a half and everything goes to shit! Dumbasses.
(Reply) (Thread)