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Kelly J. Cooper

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[Oct. 29th, 2007|03:38 am]
Kelly J. Cooper
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Poll #1079098 Material Goods

Is it bad taste/selfish/insert negative adjective to have a publicly available list of STUFF that you want, so people can buy you presents? (Birthday and Christmas, mainly, of course)

Yes, completely awful!
0(0.0%)
No, wonderful idea!
16(76.2%)
Only if it's an Amazon Wish List.
0(0.0%)
I dunno, maybe, maybe not...
5(23.8%)
What the hell woman, there's genocide in Darfur and you want presents! Yeesh!
0(0.0%)
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: miss_chance
2007-10-29 10:21 am (UTC)
Oddly, I think it's great to have it available, but in bad taste to tell people about it. Huh? That doesn't make any sense, but though I picked "No, Wonderful idea" what I really feel is something between that and "It's only okay if it's an Amazon wish list" (your option might be saying that only A. wish lists are bad ideas- I wasn't sure). I'm not that brand-identified with Amazon, so I won't support them above all others, but what I mean is that if on a site one visits *because* one wants to buy things, possibly because one wants to buy presents, it's great. I also really appreciate wedding and baby shower wish lists. But I find them tacky wwhen they show up on social sites like in one's LJ even though the journal is "one's own." It's different, somehow, to be reading a site I visit because I want to keep up socially with someone and have that turn into a "this is what I want" list.

To be clear, I think that's a little bit of a strange position for me to take, and I'm not out there campaigning against anywhere anyone wants to make a list, it's just how it feels to me.
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[User Picture]From: aroraborealis
2007-10-29 02:12 pm (UTC)
This is basically how I feel.

My actual answer to the poll is, "No, it's not in bad taste, etc," rather than, "No, wonderful idea!" because it matters a lot how it's implemented/used by the person making the list. It's nice if they're available, wish lists, but in bad taste to advertise it.

Similarly, in conversation, it's nice for someone to say, "Oh, gosh, I just love this CD. I haven't gotten around to buying it, yet. Well, maybe later." But bad taste to say, "Hey! I totally want this CD. Would you like to buy it for me?"
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From: i_leonardo
2007-10-29 01:08 pm (UTC)
lists are fine, being discreet about them is tasteful.
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[User Picture]From: metagnat
2007-10-29 01:18 pm (UTC)
I have wondered about this, myself. I think I agree that they're a good idea to have, but it's not really tasteful to tell anyone about them (unless, like any list of desired presents, they specifically ask). But, you could try to make sure they're googleable by your real name or a familiar handle, if you don't mind, say, potential employers finding them as well.

I have a number of wish lists, but I don't think anyone has ever actually used them to get me anything. Often I just use it as a way of window shopping and dreaming about what I'll buy myself when I win the lotto.

-E
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[User Picture]From: selkiechick
2007-10-29 02:10 pm (UTC)
I think wish lists are a nifty idea. They can guide/give suggestion about what you do and don't want. My grandmother laid down a rule a number of years ago "no more stuff". She didn't want any gifts she couldn't use up, she had all the things she needed, and a full house, but food, candles, bubble bath... etc. It was a great "heads up", and helped a lot.

I don't mind lists on LJ, a post at the beginning of Octembermas season with "here are some things that would be useful to me/I'd like to get this year, if anyone is interested". I think its a nice central place to put it.
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[User Picture]From: kimberlogic
2007-10-29 02:11 pm (UTC)
i think it is a fine idea but if you feel awkward about it, you can think of it as a list of things that you'd certainly give yourself if you had the time/money/ability and you can simply point people to the list when they ask you what you'd like for a given occasion.
*hugs*

i want your list, babee
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[User Picture]From: dpolicar
2007-10-29 02:17 pm (UTC)
I abstain. I am neurotic about gift-giving, always have been, have come to terms with the fact, and refuse to participate in implicitly norm-setting exercises about it. (grins)
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[User Picture]From: klingonlandlady
2007-10-29 03:01 pm (UTC)
I haven't been doing gifts as a regular thing for a while... so i don't really have to wory about asking friends to buy things for me. Might be useful for family though, or for one's own list-making and prioritizing. Would it be tactful to post a link to that if explicitly stating that no friends are expected to give gifts?

But i've been thinking of posting reuse wish lists... if you're getting rid of used stuff, or see things being tossed, this is what i'm currently searching the curb for... though that might be better posted to freecycle or reuse. What's your opinion on that?
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[User Picture]From: bookly
2007-10-30 01:39 am (UTC)
There've been a lot of cousin-marriages on my mom's side of the family in the last couple of years, with the result that there were more people than usual involved in the Christmas gift-giving last year, and not all of us had met each other prior to the Christmas gathering. I didn't know who had gotten my name, but I told my mom about my Amazon wish-list, and she passed it on to the other matriarchs in the family for distribution. Apparently the never-encountered-cousin-by-marriage who had drawn my name really appreciated the fact that I had a wishlist, and ended up getting me something from the list that she also thought was fun and interesting.

So: Useful, definitely. And there are tasteful ways to make their existence known. But honestly, I can't imagine telling anyone but my mom, best friend, and boyfriend about it. (And I have to clean it off before the fundamentalist Christian family sees all the books about Buddhism that I've listed since last Christmas. :)
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From: allessindra
2007-10-31 09:55 am (UTC)

Having a wish list for randomness is fine. Having a *christmas list* that other people pick and choose from to give you gifts from gives me the skeeves. For some reason I don't mind putting a wish-list out for general things, but I prefer to be surprised for christmas and birthday and making up a list to hand out seems far too entitlement, materialistic, and JAPqueen about it all.

But apparenlty I'm very weird. My in-laws get all confused about what to get me and seem genuinely lost without a list.

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