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An Excellent Punchline - Body by Henson, brain by Seuss. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Kelly J. Cooper

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An Excellent Punchline [Jan. 26th, 2007|12:26 am]
Kelly J. Cooper
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So funny.

So not safe for work.

http://community.livejournal.com/metaquotes/5799936.html

(Words only, no images.)
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Comments:
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[User Picture]From: tamidon
2007-01-26 05:37 am (UTC)
did you follow the posts to this? http://watch4whales.livejournal.com/29083.html
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[User Picture]From: kjc
2007-01-26 05:42 am (UTC)
Nope, missed that.

Now my stomach hurts from the laughing.

Thank you!
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[User Picture]From: drwex
2007-01-26 04:42 pm (UTC)
Thank ghu for the warnings. I was not drinking anything. But, yeah, abdominal muscles got a workout, esp since I can't really laugh out loud in cubeland.
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[User Picture]From: kjc
2007-01-26 11:26 pm (UTC)
Heh. You're welcome.
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[User Picture]From: paradigm_clutch
2007-01-26 07:13 am (UTC)
Omg I hurt from laffing on both of those stories and husband got a good laugh too. :D

Thanks for that, needed a good laugh after fighting with comic pages.

--L.G.
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[User Picture]From: kjc
2007-01-26 11:26 pm (UTC)
Excellent! Glad to relieve the pressure!
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[User Picture]From: hammercock
2007-01-26 07:16 am (UTC)

I'm probably going to live to regret this, but...a story from 2005.

Yeah, these things are always entertaining. :) Posted to my women-only filter in July 2005:

adventures in home yeast infection treatment

After the gym last night, I decided to try the peeled-garlic-clove-up-the-twat solution for yeast infections. I bruised the clove in hopes of greater efficacy -- and it felt okay, didn't burn or sting me as it apparently does for some women -- and put it way up toward my cervix.

This morning I tried to remove it manually, but it was wedged way up, sort of under my cervix, and I couldn't get it out. No worries, I figured, I'll just leave it there today and eventually it'll work its way down. I did notice that I could smell the garlic when I sat down to pee, and my fingers thoroughly reeked of garlic after the unsuccessful attempt at removal. It seemed kind of extra juicy in there, too, and I couldn't help but think, "I'm making white garlic sauce!" and giggle.

Fast-forward to a few minutes ago: I had to pee, so I went to the women's room and figured I'd try again to remove the garlic. I washed my hands, picked a stall, undid my pants, sat down, smelled the strong scent of garlic...and noticed some reddish-brown spots on my panty liner. That's odd, I thought, I didn't think I was going to get my period until the weekend. Sure enough, I wiped with some tissue and came away with evidence of full flow. And then I realized, shit, that clove is still in there and I should probably get it out. Sure enough, gravity and movement had helped it work itself about halfway down, so it was easy to remove with my fingers. However, it was really bizarre to pull a bloody garlic clove out of my twat and think, "Now I'm making garlicky RED sauce!"

This is too funny. I can't stop giggling when I think about it! I mean, dude -- my period smells like garlic.
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[User Picture]From: kjc
2007-01-26 11:27 pm (UTC)

Re: I'm probably going to live to regret this, but...a story from 2005.

Babe. Um. Again, I laughed really REALLY hard.

Thank you for sharing!

I think the reflections on what type of sauce you're generating are what put me over the edge.
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[User Picture]From: hammercock
2007-01-27 03:26 am (UTC)

Re: I'm probably going to live to regret this, but...a story from 2005.

My pain is your gain! ;-)
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[User Picture]From: knot_frayed
2007-01-26 02:01 pm (UTC)
Ok. I must go home now. I have pee'd myself laughing.
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[User Picture]From: kjc
2007-01-26 11:44 pm (UTC)
I TOLD you it wasn't safe for work!
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