|Irony Tastes Bad
||[Mar. 18th, 2010|01:16 am]
Kelly J. Cooper
Ok, so, lists and journaling are helping quiet my mind.
Last night, I finished with everything by ~1:45am. My thoughts were pretty quiet and I easily slipped into a doze (well, easily for me, which meant less than an hour, I think), but I stayed in that uneasy place where I felt really tired and was almost sleeping, but not really sleeping; I was in a sort of light doze that's just frustrating.
Finally fell asleep and couldn't wake up today at all. I had an appointment at 3pm that I failed to make; couldn't fight thru it to get the phone for any of the 4 phone calls that came in; couldn't even really respond to the BF (who was working from home today) during any of his multiple visits on any topic, whether it was the lovely day that should be enjoyed and how I should get up and didn't I have an appointment? Nada. Hate that.
So while I have more energy and motivation, my sleep is still broken. I don't know how long I should give the Adderall to affect my sleep before shifting gears. It's been four weeks since I started on a half-pill; two weeks since I went to a full pill (I forget the dosage).
And I'm starting to feel sorta emotionally jittery & brittle. It doesn't feel intrinsic... I mean, I don't have any particularly bad feelings that are engendering the urge to cry or freak out. It feels external. I wonder if it's my thyroid. Or too much Adderall. Or both. Fuck.
Despite only waking up around 7pm, I feel like crap & exhausted.