||[Apr. 12th, 2009|04:32 am]
Kelly J. Cooper
For those of you who skip commercials with your TIVO and your HULU and your TORRENTS, you are missing a bit of a cultural phenomenon.
Sir Mix-a-Lot rewrote "Baby Got Back" to promote the Burger King's kids' meals with SpongeBob SquarePants toys.
The commercial (with a cameo from Sir Mix-a-Lot):
The FULL song, all lyrics rewritten, complete series of scary dance moves:
The lyrics :
I like Square Butts and I cannot lie
Squid and sea star can’t deny
When a Sponge walks in, 4 corners in his pants
Like he got phone book implants
The crowd shouts.
All the ladies stare…
Dang! Those pants are square
Swimmin’ through the seaweed tangles
Is a butt with sharp right angles
Now SpongeBob! I wanna get wicha
Cuz ya makin’ me richa
Underwater we keep it grungy
Cuz everybody knows that he’s so spongy.
Ooh! Rump of sponge skin
You dance but yo hips don’t bend
So groove it and move it
If ya got caboose, then prove it
SpongeBob is dancin’. And Squidward is glancin’
He’s hatin’, wet Got SpongeBob runnin’ his set
I’m tired of alla these chairs
They don’t accommodate these squares
Take the average box, run and tell him that
You gotta have square back.
Mr. Krabbs! (YEAH?!) Patrick! (YEAH?!)
Has SpongeBob got the butt? (OH YEAH!)
Tell him to shake it! Shake it!
Shake that cubicle butt!
SpongeBob got back
Nah dude, I said cubicle – Not booty-full
Yeah, baby. When it comes to sea life
Curves ain’t got nothin’ to do with Bob’s selection
Two by two by two square trousers
Workin’ that black belt lookin’ like dotted lines
That’s how SpongeBob likes to rock them threads, baby
A word to the deep sea sponges
Who wanna get with it! And watch SpongeBob kick it!
I gotta be straight when I say you gotta scrub
Til the break of dawn
Bob got it goin on. Been known to rock him in a thong
Them round butts won’t admit it
But they’d wear that gear if they could fit it
You can draw his body on paper
His waistline really don’t taper
Your girlfriend wants to squeeze him
Wanna push his pores and tease him
But SpongeBob ain’t gonna have too much of that squeezin’
You other sponges don’t want none
Unless you rock square buns
To the new sponges in the magazines
You ain’t it, miss thing
We rock them cubes, gals and dudes
I put it down at the Goo Lagoon
Some other box butts get jealous
At the moves that come from square fellas
See Bob and they wanna get ‘em
But Sandy Cheeks she won’t let ‘em
If you happen to wander on land
And you wanna be a square butt fan
Just drive the crew by the BURGER KING
And give that sponge a ring!
SpongeBob got back!
Really. I'm pretty sure I'm not hallucinating this.